25 things i know
vol 11. what I've learned so far
Hi friends,
The sun has set on my 24th year of being alive. In honour, in thought, in contemplation, here are 25 things I’ve learned in this life:
When there is a knock on your door, call out. The people you love will tumble over each other and fall into bed with you. You will lay your head on your friends’ laps and their laughter will echo through the decades. If a ghost slips in the door, know that when it is time, they will leave with a gust of wind blowing through the open window.
I am not 15 anymore nor 19 nor 21. These ages sit in me like 3 freckles dusted after a long day in the sun. They yell at me from their perches in the past, telling me things as though I don’t understand everything makes sense with hindsight. I do understand this. But understanding does not deliver time passing — no, we must wait for the days to recede before we can see the clarity.
And on this theme, I know that with time, pain eases. This is something we were told from the moment our baby blue cheeks wailed. This is the first thing I know about time.
The second thing I know about time is that it passes.
The third thing I know about time is its passing will either sit like a lump in your throat or a kiss on your forehead. There is no in between.
Regret sits within us, be it from decades ago or from yesterday or from this morning when I should have got out of bed earlier. The presence of regret is inevitable. Float over it like a gentle wave in the ocean, and then smile it a sandy goodbye.
Music is joy
Reading is knowledge
Knowledge is everything
To try is to exist. To try is to exist
Cognitive dissonance is a fortune teller. I think your intuition predicts your destiny. I don’t know so much about free will but this is a list of things I do know, not things I don’t.
To witness passion is to fall in love
A grin is happiness. Bear your teeth at me so I may hold them in my mind forever.
Loneliness belongs to all of us
It is your mother’s first time at life. It is your father’s first time at life. The more people I talk to, the more I understand this to be a shared epiphany, an inevitable realisation. You should know what life was like for them before you took your first breath. At one point, all they had was solipsism.
A smile from a stranger on the street can crack even the strongest of facades. A split second show of faith, a mutual acknowledgement of each other’s humanity.
Forgiveness and magnesium will make your dreams sweeter
The best part of the night is always the beginning, when laughter rings through the hallway and clothes are strewn across the floor.
Getting up earlier in the morning does make you feel better. Maybe it is captured moments or time reclaimed or maybe we are born to seek more.
You should call your mother and your grandmother and your long distance friend more. You should reach out to that person when they float across your mind and tell someone when they’ve made you smile.
With enough time and conversation and introductions and homesickness and bravery, you can build a life.
Decolonisation is liberation
You deserve a sweet treat on every day of the week. You also deserve to eat honey cake for breakfast and one kilo of cherries in a single sitting and an entire punnet of olives for dessert.
On the day that you read this, the sun will have risen in the east and pinned its celestial self to the sky. I have been thinking of continuity for a long time. There is comfort to be found in the continuous.
25. And lastly, finally, perfectly, I know that I love my life. This is a knowing so inimitable it appears almost unbelievable.
When it comes to the meaning of life, I am thinking this could be it.
So that’s what I’ve got so far. A bit of not much and a bit of everything.
As always, talk soon.
love, kat